I don’t like using my dad’s bathroom because I’m not that into watching myself poop.
i thought your face was embroidered on a hand towel
i remember when i was little, i stayed in the bath tub way too long because i wasn’t feeling good, so i fell asleep in the tub (with the water off of course) and when i woke up, i looked at my hands i saw that they were all wrinkled and stuff and i started flippin out because i thought i slept for 60 years
what rock group has four men that don’t sing
oh my god